I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
