Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
