I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
