Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
