Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
My vagina is very pro this idea
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