never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
