I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
