Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
