What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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