We're facebook friends in real life
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
