Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
