That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
