For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
