Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
He shit in the fireplace
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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