i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
