Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
