I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
