so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
