i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
