I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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