I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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