That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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