so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
