Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
