Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
