I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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