It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
this hospital has no fireball
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
