Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
