it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
