why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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