The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
