wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Shame is for Republicans.
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