Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I miss vodka workout Fridays
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
