first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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