i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Randomize
