im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
