remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
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