whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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