sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize