i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
