okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Randomize
