in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
