dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Is this like a preordered booty call?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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