Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
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