My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
