The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
