barbara walters just said penis...
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
