Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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