you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
