just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
