My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
