xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize