this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
