yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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