just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
