woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
now i know why i became what i already was.
she looked like the before picture.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
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