4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
