Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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