I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
