Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
babies were throwing up all over the place
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
