Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Randomize