This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
